I Always Knew You Were a Bitch

by The Sexbots

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1.
02:58
I used to call you baby every day We used to say, "I love you," I really meant it, too. But in the end, all of the things we said to each other they just weren't true And I'm glad that I kept some of my secrets from you, too.
2.
Oh, baby, baby, I don’t know Oh baby, baby, I don’t know I don’t know, I don’t know about that and then the rings come off and there’s shouting on the sidewalk when the bars close I am not letting you go home like that I will knock you down Oh baby, baby, I don’t know Oh baby, baby, I don’t know Oh baby, baby, I don’t know I don’t know, I don’t know about that It’s a typical weekday lunch loving wife and her husband dear holding hands across the table what would you like, my dear? it’s like a future version of us Because the rings don’t match hey, do those rings come off? what would it take for those rings to come off? oh baby, baby, I don’t know oh baby, baby I don’t know oh baby, baby I don’t know I don’t know, I don’t know about that cause there are only so many times I can hear you say, I don’t love you before something in my heart changes cold and all the things I did before you, I do again I do it again
3.
you can call me easy I met him on the street, the same day you left it was the day I took him to my bed another week and you’re trying to get back in my head chorus: je know and je regrette it and we both know, so let’s forget it and then you call and so I say, “Oh, I, I ain’t sleeping alone” a woman home, all alone, late at night, I’d be afraid but they’re already spayed and they’re free to good homes Gen’s man unscrews all my pickle jars and you say, I’ll just stop by, ‘cause it’s not that far and I say, are you fucking kidding me? you know, I ain’t sleeping alone you can leave a message at the tone ‘cause I’m sure as fuck not dying alone I’ve got love, I’ve got responsibilities I’ve got, um, fourteen, no, maybe fifteen kitties it’s like Bridget Jones, just switch vodka for wine it’s a lot of cat food, but we’re doing just fine You say, “let’s get some coffee, it’ll be nice” I say, are you fucking kidding me? You know, I’m not sleeping alone
4.
There’s something in the way he approaches you that makes your girlfriends come and ask you, hey, hey- what did he say to you? And all your guy friends say, oh, he’s got a good heart, he’s awkward but he’s trying so why can’t you be nice stop shooting him down because he’s trying so he’s lonely and he’s trying hey, I get lonely, too and the way he says, “I’m so glad to see you” makes your girlfriends come and say, “hey, I’m going to come to the bathroom with you, are you okay hey, I’m going to walk out to the car with you hey you, hey you, she’s with me so fuck off, she’s with me” “I guess I always knew you were a bitch” and when it made the news, the guys say, “he’s only like that when he’s drinking and he’s been down” and then they searched his house and found the girls and they said, I guess he seemed off some I guess he was down some Right? hey you, hey you, hey you, hey hey, I’m talking to you now what- you think you’re too good now hey you, hey you, hey you hey, I’m talking to you now I’m just trying to talk to you now what, you thinking you’re too good now and she says, call me when you get home now ‘cause I need to make sure you’re okay now and he says, we drink all the time yeah, he’s one of the guys he wouldn’t hurt a fly
5.
oh hey Ilima, you’re a Sexbot you’re a girl of the world I bet you know all kinds of things, I bet you know about love so tell us your secrets and teach us your tricks I don’t know about that, cause I bet your mom’s seen more dicks but if there’s one thing I know, if you want that good night kiss smile a little too long, wear eyeliner and chapstick deep down, Daddy you know this isn’t working deep down, Daddy, you know this isn’t working but still you go, you go, you go I was walking the street on the way to your house and you were always calling me a slut and I was like, what? and you were like, look at that butt and the arch of your back, like you’re in downward dog all the time and your hips when you walk, it’s like you’re in heat all the time I’m like, you’re grumpy, you just need to eat I knew it was crazy, and I knew it at the time but every time I tried to leave you, I felt like I was dying it was like, five albums about this same dude? are you that nuts or the dick that good? it wasn’t, it was more about me and about my brain and what’s wrong with me the way I was raised or society he didn’t hit me but he’d raise his fist and say you’re lucky I don’t hit women and I’d shake like he was my pimp there’s this thing where a man can love pussy but hate women something about the way I’m wired from my childhood maybe or other guys who hit me I was his slave I’m not proud of how it was it’s been over for years but I still kind of feel like he was the love of my life my next old man and me had some kind of crazy magic except that I could never tell, between me and her which one of us was the side chick and I use that term loosely ‘cause there was always a new one is it me or is it her or is it me against the world? but I had this vision of us maybe I could try being European I can try, I can try- but I know that you’re cheating my friends keep saying, hey, what’s wrong with your man? And I’d say, I love him, you just don’t understand Plus he’s learning fuck learning! He should be earning your love then you walked on out, like a deadbeat dad for a pack of cigarettes and I’m glad that you did cause I always stand by my man just a little too long The purest version of me is in white light on a stage and there are strangers all in front of me but if I work it just right I can take all that energy take it and magnify it I’ll get myself in your mind I’ve made grown men cry and this version here this, this is the best version of me I’m not desperate for love and I don’t give a fuck so I hug everyone in the club and then go home alone it gets old, it gets cold, but it’s better this way there’s always another song and there’s always another stage oh, but fuck me, I just need to get laid oh hey, yeah you, hey hey, what’s your name?
6.
A hundred years ago, it’s true You were my favorite thing to do But now all I remember is wanting more of time alone, and your clothes on the floor, it’s over and then you wonder but what if no one cares and then you wonder but what if I get scared you should be singing you should be singing I’m sitting in this light-filled room with just a few ghosts and echoes cause I moved here with you the way you growled the way that I got quiet whenever you got loud dreams that died, songs that I held inside chorus oh oh’s Enough, we’re going out tonight put on some heels don’t let them think you died tonight forget your feels the world’s a stage tonight and you’re my star and you’re my star
7.
Summer sun and that certain kind of dread This girl I know, well, she was found dead in bed I guess I guess That’s just one of those things Summer sun and that certain kind of dread I know the way you kiss me I know you’re leaving me I know, I know, I know you’re leaving me does it get easier than living alone? but will it be easier when you’re used to living alone? it’s been a long winter and such a hard winter but I know it will change when summer comes along I can tell the way you kiss me (I know, I know, I know I know you’re leaving me) We’re still living but Bryony’s gone, Bryony’s gone away And we’d still be loving but the love has gone, the love has gone away You won’t say it straight but I can tell the way you kiss me (I know, I know, I know I know you’re leaving me)
8.
04:10
hey, I said you’re pretty are you listening to me? are you some kind of deaf or just can’t take compliments? hey, you think you’re cute, you think you’re better than me well, I can tell you you’re not- ‘cause you’re just a fucking whore what, some kind of dyke bitch? some girls never had a real dick I’m going to straighten you out and show you what to do with that mouth what? you’re awful small not to be afraid you’re just a mouthy bitch you think you’re a rabble rousing witch sorry, I can’t hear you, I had headphones on am I supposed to be scared? or are you visually impaired? ‘cause I am clearly doing anything but talking to you I don’t owe you my time, why d’you expect me to smile? and don’t call me a whore if you can’t afford to get it free in equal exchange of pleasant company and I’m pretty sure that you could mop the floor with my face but while my black eyes will heal, you’re still going to die alone and if saying these things makes me a mouthy bitch then I had better say it louder, I’ll be your local rabble rousing witch ‘cause I have got sisters who don’t need this shit it shouldn’t be part of riding the bus two fifty is enough you got a problem with the way we treat your chick? Nah, she’s a little bruised but she can still suck dick so go ahead and push her around right in front of me ‘cause I knew you first, so that means we’re still homies Thank you, kind sir, for that object lesson in ingrained misogyny I guess that second grade bully taught you not to stick up for the little ones but to stick with the crowd But I had younger ones behind me watching and waiting So it’s not for you and it’s not for the behind you But it’s for the ones behind me ‘cause if you want to change the system be a mouthy bitch raise ‘em up, show them different, rabble rousing witch if you want to change the system be a mouthy bitch let’s raise ‘em up, show them different, you rabble rousing witch I’m just being friendly is that some kind of crime that’s why you don’t have a guy besides you’re a fucking whore don’t walk down the street unless you want me to say what you should do with your face which is to say, you should let me fuck it you shouldn’t wait at bus stops unless you’re wanting to be all best friends with me and when I say that, I mean best friends who fuck what? You didn’t hear me If you don’t talk to me, it’s because you’re whore if you don’t stop what you’re doing right now and be nice to me, it’s ‘cause you’re a whore I said you’re a whore Can you hear me? I said you’re a whore In the words of Inigo Montoyo, I don’t think that words means what you think it means but if it does, that’s what I want to be if you want to change the system be a mouthy bitch raise ‘em up, show them different, rabble rousing witch if you want to change the system be a mouthy bitch let’s raise ‘em up, show them different, rabble rousing witch

about

Towards the end of 2017, The Sexbots’ Ilima Considine called her work as she walked out of the courthouse with a stalking order against a co-worker. The Sheriff’s Department was going to serve him during his shift the next day. Her workplace responded by cutting her schedule to 5 hours a week- virtually firing her, because, “You’re the one with the problem.” Ilima was so mad that she went home and wrote a rap album about losing all her fucks and becoming a cat lady. Recurring themes of violence, street harassment, choosing loneliness over sleeping with the enemy, and quietly watching one’s life disintegrate - The Sexbots’ seventh full-length album “I Always Knew You Were a Bitch” is titled after a common response to a sexually unavailable woman or one who protects other women. Like the rest of the Sexbots’ catalogue, there is a surface prettiness to the sound which belies the dark lyrical content. It’s a rap album- but not a hip hop album, kind of like Jhene Aiko meets Serge Gainesbourg. Bell chimes and cosmic sounds tie together tracks from Oregon producers T-Walk, DJ Ceez, Adaptr, and Eugene’s wild child Asol.

Last known, the State of Oregon was pursuing an Extreme Risk Protective Order against Ilima’s stalker. She now has a safer day job.

I hope you feel things when you listen to this album.

credits

released January 1, 2019

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The Sexbots Portland, Oregon

Ilima Considine is a trans-disciplinary artist living in Portland, OR. In addition to performing under the nom de guerre The Sexbots, she plays violin, cello, and bass and does neoclassical soundtracks for film and modern dance companies. She is a single mom with 2 kids. ... more

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