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A List of Things I've Done Wrong

from I Always Knew You Were a Bitch by The Sexbots

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feat Asol and Nick Rogers

lyrics

oh hey Ilima, you’re a Sexbot
you’re a girl of the world
I bet you know all kinds of things, I bet you know about love
so tell us your secrets and teach us your tricks
I don’t know about that, cause I bet your mom’s seen more dicks
but if there’s one thing I know, if you want that good night kiss
smile a little too long, wear eyeliner and chapstick

deep down, Daddy
you know this isn’t working
deep down, Daddy,
you know this isn’t working
but still you go, you go, you go

I was walking the street on the way to your house
and you were always calling me a slut
and I was like, what?
and you were like, look at that butt
and the arch of your back, like you’re in downward dog all the time
and your hips when you walk, it’s like you’re in heat all the time
I’m like, you’re grumpy, you just need to eat
I knew it was crazy, and I knew it at the time
but every time I tried to leave you, I felt like I was dying
it was like, five albums about this same dude?
are you that nuts or the dick that good?
it wasn’t, it was more about me
and about my brain and what’s wrong with me
the way I was raised or society
he didn’t hit me
but he’d raise his fist and say you’re lucky
I don’t hit women
and I’d shake like he was my pimp
there’s this thing where a man can love pussy
but hate women
something about the way I’m wired
from my childhood maybe
or other guys who hit me
I was his slave
I’m not proud of how it was
it’s been over for years
but I still kind of feel like he was the love of my life

my next old man and me had some kind of crazy magic
except that I could never tell, between me and her
which one of us was the side chick
and I use that term loosely
‘cause there was always a new one
is it me or is it her
or is it me against the world?
but I had this vision of us
maybe I could try being European
I can try, I can try- but I know that you’re cheating
my friends keep saying, hey, what’s wrong with your man?
And I’d say, I love him, you just don’t understand
Plus he’s learning
fuck learning! He should be earning your love
then you walked on out, like a deadbeat dad for a pack of cigarettes
and I’m glad that you did
cause I always stand by my man
just a little too long

The purest version of me is in white light on a stage
and there are strangers all in front of me
but if I work it just right
I can take all that energy
take it and magnify it
I’ll get myself in your mind
I’ve made grown men cry
and this version here
this, this is the best version of me
I’m not desperate for love
and I don’t give a fuck
so I hug everyone in the club and then go home alone
it gets old, it gets cold, but it’s better this way
there’s always another song and there’s always another stage
oh, but fuck me, I just need to get laid

oh hey, yeah you, hey
hey, what’s your name?

credits

from I Always Knew You Were a Bitch, released January 1, 2019

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about

The Sexbots Portland, Oregon

Ilima Considine is a trans-disciplinary artist living in Portland, OR. In addition to performing under the nom de guerre The Sexbots, she plays violin, cello, and bass and does neoclassical soundtracks for film and modern dance companies. She is a single mom with 2 kids. ... more

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