Uh Oh Dear

by Ilima Considine

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1.
Hi, this is Emma- Mimi Medici
2.
the makeup was as smooth and opaque as the painted face of a porcelain doll and I was attracted, not by this but by the contest of glittering blue eyes, winking and alive she stood behind the counter on a platform or perhaps she was that much taller than I who was reminded, when I opened the book in the public library like to life as if you had written it finding a piece of paper, yellow, hand-written script "the space felt all wrong like a map folded against its creases" reminded how, I am still sweet on you
3.
ghost story 04:07
stripped sockets and loose screws the doorknob rattles someone was here before someone is here still can you feel it? can you feel it? cause I can feel it too can you feel it? can you feel it? cause I can feel it too I couldn't scrub the curse away blood on the walls and echoes in the hall how the things you say sound the same as the things he said the last time, the last time are you back then? are you back then? cause I'd still take you back are you back then? are you back then? cause I'd still take you back she's not back, she never did leave and she's here beside me beside me can you feel it? can you feel it? cause I can feel it too can you feel it? can you feel it? cause I can feel it too and she sees you and she hears you and she sees you and she hears you don't you realize that everything falls apart and everyone here falls apart can you feel it? can you feel it? cause I can feel it too can you feel it? can you feel it? cause I can feel it too cause I can feel it too can you feel it? can you feel it? cause I can feel it too can you feel it? can you feel it? cause I can feel it too are you back then? are you back then? cause I'd still take you back are you back then? are you back then? cause I'd still take you back
4.
letter to M 03:51
I'm afraid to be around you afraid to be alone with you cause I'm so starved for you I'm so starved for you It's not like I'm saying, leave her for me Or, choose her or me but I wish you were free I wish you were free But way back, maybe last December I didn't think I'd see the other side of the mirror And I'm so afraid, if you don't believe me cause I don't believe me It's not like I'm saying, leave her for me Or, choose her or me but I wish you were free I wish you were free And everything that happens between us isn't just between us when everyone around us can see that you shouldn't be with me It's not like I'm saying, leave her for me Or, choose her or me but I wish you were free I wish you were free And I don't know why you look so good to me cause it's not like you're free and I've decided that if I can't have you, you can't have me. And if I can't have you, you can't have me.
5.
I had a dream that you were murdered that you were killed by someone you knew and when I woke up, I didn't know if it was true or not And I had the feeling that you weren't happy- that you were desperate and sad and eating jam out of the jar and if you are, you should call me
6.
I fell asleep in the snow I thought when I awoke, you'd still love me but when you sleep in the snow you never will awake you never will awake And all of the racket when the soldiers find my body and all of the birds overhead flying circles tell them peasant kids, barefoot and woolly-headed you should never falls asleep in the snow or those who love you will never know I fell asleep in the snow I thought when I awoke you'd still love me but when you sleep in the snow you never will awake you never will awake I don't think that you looked for me they found my body come the spring I think something is wrong with me and the snow begins again quietly people who fall in love so easily do stupid things like sleep in the snow I fell asleep in the snow I thought when I awoke you'd still love me but when you sleep in the snow you never will awake you never will awake I fell asleep in the snow I thought when I awoke you'd still love me it's kinder to die thinking someone's thinking of you but it's no different from dying alone I fell asleep in the snow I thought when I awoke you'd still love me but when you sleep in the snow you never will awake you never will awake
7.
Quitting 04:20
It rained ash from the skies and in the baby's eyes I was the only one all our lonely wanderings while everyone's asleep all our lonely wanderings I tried to hide it for so long Tried to hide from it for so long but everyone everyone's afraid of you and I've been thinking of quitting you you are leaving me again and I break all my promises my promises to you and I promise you I won't bother you, I won't bother you, I will leave you alone I won't bother you, I won't bother you, I will leave you alone everybody drinks and drives sometimes but it's not really how we live our lives and I've been getting high on you and I've been thinking of quitting you I've been thinking of quitting you
8.
(Paul!) Yeah, answer your cock-lick- are your kids home? (No.) Then answer your cock-licking phone you dumb cunt.
9.
Blood/Widow 05:08
I hope my face bruised your fist all this- blood, secrets, and lies I should be severing myself I should be severing myself I should be severing myself away from you I don't ask for much. I don't ask for much. And we're so deeply in love it's what the papers say and you say, you say, you say, you get quiet when you're angry I know I'm asking a lot why don't you knock me down, and break my glasses you wouldn't think to look you wouldn't think to look If there's an easier way just watch me, watch me 'cause there's an easier way you should be severing yourself you should be severing yourself away from me you wouldn't think to look you wouldn't think to look you wouldn't think to look you live your life with no regrets but I can't say the same and if things were like they used to, we wouldn't have to talk and if things were like they used to, but whatever happened to trust I feel like a widow even though you're here and I live like a widow even though you're here I lie alone hearing your footsteps in the hall oh god, some thing's got to change here oh, something's got to change if things were like they used to, we wouldn't have to talk and if things were like they used to, but whatever happened to us? And I know we said forever, but how about a year? And I know we said forever, but how about a year?
10.
time travel 02:52
Where do you go when you go? Where do you go when you go? There's trouble in the water All around I shouldn't need to ask you Where you go When you go Everything, everything- don't, don't everything, everything- don't everything, everything- don't- everything, oh oh everything
11.
It's awfully quiet pulling in the harbor We should have been here three years ago There was a camp, there was a child there's nothing here except the quiet Don't bother looking here, everyone's gone I don't know why, but something went wrong What news? What news? Bad news, bad news And it's all about the ways you choose to live your life You can knock me down but you can't keep me there You can knock me down but you can't keep me there If you have to leave, leave a sign Try to leave something behind We don't have bodies, we don't know why There are voices in the sky What news? What news? Bad news, bad news And it's all about the ways you choose to live your life You can knock me down but you can't keep me there You can knock me down but you can't keep me there You don't have to spend four days in Roanoke to see everyone's gone And it's plain to see that something went wrong It's been so long and whatever's the reason, everything's over, over, over, over (Why don't you go ahead and kill the messenger) Every soul we left here was lost (Go ahead! Do it!) You can knock me down but you can't keep me there You can knock me down but you can't keep me there
12.
I still want you, not for any good reason, but I do.
13.
I'm surprised but I'm still breathing and I'm not surprised that you're still here, and you're crying everyone will ask how it happened when we get back, if we can get back there, I guess but let's burn that bridge when we get there let's make a choice, let's get the story straight it's not like we can get the diamonds out of the sea and I'm surprised that I'm still breathing and I'm not surprised that you're still here we can't go back the same but no one died and no one knows and I'm surprised that you're still here sometimes we use different names for different scenes and dangerous games but there's one or two who you can't control and it can get scary there's one or two who you can't control and I'm surprised that I'm still breathing and I'm still whole and I can almost feel myself again I'm still whole and I'm still trying and I can almost feel myself again I can almost feel myself again

about

This is a solo album I recorded in my living room. I play everything myself. I had to teach myself how to play guitar off a youtube video in order to complete this album. Really, search "how to play guitar", pause the screen, then put your fingers into place. You are now playing guitar.

credits

released June 1, 2010

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about

The Sexbots Portland, Oregon

Ilima Considine is a trans-disciplinary artist living in Portland, OR. In addition to performing under the nom de guerre The Sexbots, she plays violin, cello, and bass and does neoclassical soundtracks for film and modern dance companies. She is a single mom with 2 kids. ... more

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