Uh Oh Dear

by Ilima Considine

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about

This is a solo album I recorded in my living room. I play everything myself. I had to teach myself how to play guitar off a youtube video in order to complete this album. Really, search "how to play guitar", pause the screen, then put your fingers into place. You are now playing guitar.

credits

released June 1, 2010

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about

The Sexbots Portland, Oregon

Ilima Considine is a trans-disciplinary artist living in Portland, OR. In addition to performing under the nom de guerre The Sexbots, she plays violin, cello, and bass and does neoclassical soundtracks for film and modern dance companies. She is a single mom with 2 kids. ... more

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Track Name: I don't know you but I want you
Hi, this is Emma- Mimi Medici
Track Name: like a map folded against its creases
the makeup was as smooth and opaque as the painted face of a porcelain doll
and I was attracted, not by this
but by the contest of glittering blue eyes, winking and alive
she stood behind the counter on a platform
or perhaps she was that much taller than I
who was reminded, when I opened the book in the public library
like to life as if you had written it
finding a piece of paper, yellow, hand-written script
"the space felt all wrong like a map folded against its creases"
reminded how, I am still sweet on you
Track Name: ghost story
stripped sockets and loose screws
the doorknob rattles
someone was here before
someone is here still

can you feel it? can you feel it?
cause I can feel it too
can you feel it? can you feel it?
cause I can feel it too

I couldn't scrub the curse away
blood on the walls and echoes in the hall
how the things you say sound the same as
the things he said the last time, the last time

are you back then? are you back then?
cause I'd still take you back
are you back then? are you back then?
cause I'd still take you back

she's not back, she never did leave
and she's here beside me
beside me

can you feel it? can you feel it?
cause I can feel it too
can you feel it? can you feel it?
cause I can feel it too

and she sees you
and she hears you
and she sees you
and she hears you

don't you realize that everything falls apart
and everyone here falls apart
can you feel it?
can you feel it?
cause I can feel it too
can you feel it?
can you feel it?
cause I can feel it too

cause I can feel it too

can you feel it? can you feel it?
cause I can feel it too
can you feel it? can you feel it?
cause I can feel it too

are you back then? are you back then?
cause I'd still take you back
are you back then? are you back then?
cause I'd still take you back
Track Name: letter to M
I'm afraid to be around you
afraid to be alone with you
cause I'm so starved for you
I'm so starved for you

It's not like I'm saying, leave her for me
Or, choose her or me
but I wish you were free
I wish you were free

But way back, maybe last December
I didn't think I'd see the other side of the mirror
And I'm so afraid, if you don't believe me
cause I don't believe me

It's not like I'm saying, leave her for me
Or, choose her or me
but I wish you were free
I wish you were free

And everything that happens between us
isn't just between us
when everyone around us can see
that you shouldn't be with me

It's not like I'm saying, leave her for me
Or, choose her or me
but I wish you were free
I wish you were free

And I don't know why you look so good to me
cause it's not like you're free
and I've decided
that if I can't have you, you can't have me.
And if I can't have you, you can't have me.
Track Name: jam out of the jar
I had a dream that you were murdered
that you were killed by someone you knew
and when I woke up, I didn't know if it was true or not
And I had the feeling that you weren't happy- that you were desperate and sad and eating jam out of the jar
and if you are, you should call me
Track Name: asleep in the snow
I fell asleep in the snow
I thought when I awoke, you'd still love me
but when you sleep in the snow
you never will awake
you never will awake

And all of the racket when the soldiers find my body
and all of the birds overhead flying circles
tell them peasant kids, barefoot and woolly-headed
you should never falls asleep in the snow
or those who love you will never know

I fell asleep in the snow
I thought when I awoke you'd still love me
but when you sleep in the snow
you never will awake
you never will awake

I don't think that you looked for me
they found my body come the spring
I think something is wrong with me
and the snow begins again quietly
people who fall in love so easily
do stupid things like sleep in the snow

I fell asleep in the snow
I thought when I awoke you'd still love me
but when you sleep in the snow
you never will awake
you never will awake

I fell asleep in the snow
I thought when I awoke you'd still love me
it's kinder to die thinking someone's thinking of you
but it's no different from dying alone

I fell asleep in the snow
I thought when I awoke you'd still love me
but when you sleep in the snow
you never will awake
you never will awake
Track Name: Quitting
It rained ash from the skies
and in the baby's eyes I was the only one
all our lonely wanderings
while everyone's asleep
all our lonely wanderings

I tried to hide it
for so long
Tried to hide from it
for so long
but everyone
everyone's afraid of you
and I've
been thinking of quitting you

you are leaving me again
and I break all my promises
my promises to you
and I promise you I won't bother you,
I won't bother you, I will leave you alone
I won't bother you, I won't bother you, I will leave you alone

everybody drinks and drives sometimes
but it's not really how we live our lives
and I've been getting high on you
and I've been thinking of quitting you

I've been thinking of quitting you
Track Name: Are your kids home?
(Paul!)
Yeah, answer your cock-lick- are your kids home?
(No.)
Then answer your cock-licking phone you dumb cunt.
Track Name: Blood/Widow
I hope my face
bruised your fist
all this- blood, secrets, and lies
I should be severing myself
I should be severing myself
I should be severing myself away from you
I don't ask for much.
I don't ask for much.

And we're so deeply in love
it's what the papers say
and you say, you say,
you say, you get quiet when you're angry
I know I'm asking a lot
why don't you knock me down, and break my glasses
you wouldn't think to look
you wouldn't think to look

If there's an easier way
just watch me, watch me
'cause there's an easier way
you should be severing yourself
you should be severing yourself
away from me
you wouldn't think to look
you wouldn't think to look
you wouldn't think to look

you live your life with no regrets
but I can't say the same
and if things were like they used to, we wouldn't have to talk
and if things were like they used to, but whatever happened to trust

I feel like a widow even though you're here
and I live like a widow even though you're here

I lie alone hearing your footsteps in the hall
oh god, some thing's got to change here
oh, something's got to change
if things were like they used to, we wouldn't have to talk
and if things were like they used to, but whatever happened to us?
And I know we said forever, but how about a year?
And I know we said forever, but how about a year?
Track Name: time travel
Where do you go when you go?
Where do you go when you go?
There's trouble in the water
All around
I shouldn't need to ask you
Where you go When you go

Everything, everything- don't, don't
everything, everything- don't
everything, everything- don't- everything, oh oh

everything
Track Name: Four Days in Roanoke
It's awfully quiet pulling in the harbor
We should have been here three years ago
There was a camp, there was a child
there's nothing here except the quiet

Don't bother looking here, everyone's gone
I don't know why, but something went wrong
What news? What news? Bad news, bad news
And it's all about the ways you choose to live your life

You can knock me down but you can't keep me there
You can knock me down but you can't keep me there

If you have to leave, leave a sign
Try to leave something behind
We don't have bodies, we don't know why
There are voices in the sky
What news? What news? Bad news, bad news
And it's all about the ways you choose to live your life

You can knock me down but you can't keep me there
You can knock me down but you can't keep me there

You don't have to spend four days in Roanoke to see everyone's gone
And it's plain to see that something went wrong
It's been so long and whatever's the reason, everything's over, over, over, over
(Why don't you go ahead and kill the messenger)
Every soul we left here was lost
(Go ahead! Do it!)
You can knock me down but you can't keep me there
You can knock me down but you can't keep me there
Track Name: Rustling Paper(i want you)
I still want you, not for any good reason, but I do.
Track Name: After the Crash
I'm surprised but I'm still breathing
and I'm not surprised that you're still here, and you're crying
everyone will ask how it happened when we get back, if we can get back there, I guess

but let's burn that bridge when we get there
let's make a choice, let's get the story straight
it's not like we can get the diamonds out of the sea

and I'm surprised that I'm still breathing
and I'm not surprised that you're still here
we can't go back the same
but no one died and no one knows
and I'm surprised that you're still here

sometimes we use different names
for different scenes and dangerous games
but there's one or two who you can't control and it can get scary
there's one or two who you can't control

and I'm surprised that I'm still breathing
and I'm still whole
and I can almost feel myself again
I'm still whole
and I'm still trying
and I can almost feel myself again
I can almost feel myself again